This past Monday was more than usually interesting at dear old Glass Bathroom Bank (name changed to protect the terminally embarrassed), so I thought I would hop onto the blog at my first convenience, which happened to be today, to document it. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, and one of those is far more acceptable behavior at the office.
For instance, I discovered on Monday morning that significant traffic backups on one of the main artery roads into Pittsburgh now begin before 6:30 AM. Granted, I was lucky enough to be using that road only for a short distance, to get from my house to the park-and-ride where I catch one of the commuter buses into town, but still. Yay for miles of brakelights.
The fun of the morning was only beginning. When I arrived at the office itself, I discovered water-marked ceiling tiles, drip marks down the wall, and an unplugged water cooler (see photos below, with my apologies for the random way in which the blog may have rotated them). I'm just grateful the water got no further. One more tile over and it would have hit my computer. It did, in fact, take out the computer of the employee who sits one floor above me, so I'm definitely quite lucky in that regard.
It should also be noted that the floor where I work, though quite a fair ways up, is still much closer to the ground than to the roof. This being said, I was more surprised than I should have been by the number of people who asked if the water leakage was due to the roof leaking from the rain we had over the weekend. It's always possible, I suppose, but a burst pipe seemed much more likely, especially given the site of the leak, directly above one of our floor's water coolers. (The maintenance guy and the cleaning lady, after having a good laugh over my silly coworkers, confirmed my theory. Burst pipe two floors up.)
And the water cooler. Oh, the water cooler. A number of people asked me why it was unplugged and were utterly amazed when I pointed out the water damage on the ceiling and the wall. And one person (as you will probably know if you follow my page on Facebook) walked up to it, moved the plug hanging over its top out of the way to place a cup under its spigot, pressed the button to dispense water, and then turned to me in shock and astonishment when no water dispensed.
The water woes were only the beginning. Someone sent me a message which simply said "the printer needs toner". We have seven printers on our floor, which use a combined total of six different types of toner. Is it really that much harder to say "the color printer beside my cube is out of yellow"?
And then there's the video conference room where the number keys on the remote control are set up to change the way the camera is aimed rather than dialing a conference line number. So instead of being able to connect with our team in India, I got to watch the camera do the Electric Boogaloo. Three phone calls with the video conference guy later, we were able to locate the "touch tones" command, which returns the number keys to, y'know, inputting numbers.
I need a new job title. Instead of "administrative assistant", how about "floor mom"?
Send encouragement. Or chocolate. Or both, both is good.