So I wanted to write a blog post on the occasion of my returning to work after my glorious and much needed ten days of vacation. Usually I am able to write and put up said posts at work, but apparently while I was out of the office my employer figured out I was doing so, and my blog site has now been blocked from my work computer.
I can’t blame them. I am, after all, here to work. It’s just that my work is episodic, with short periods of high activity and then breaks. Lots of breaks. And one can only organize one’s desk so often before one’s brain starts to implode. Ah well, they haven’t taken away my Word documents yet, and please God they never will. Not sure what I’d do if I couldn’t even scribble down a few ideas!
In any case, here I am, back at dear old Glass Bathroom Bank, after ten long lovely days of doing pretty much what I pleased. Now, what I pleased did happen to be quite a lot of necessary chores around the house, like tidying and cleaning the main room, the kitchen, my bedroom, and even a little in the cats’ room (Starsky and Hutch aren’t sure they like this new uncluttered thing their bed’s got going on). But I also read a lot, watched some silly TV, petted animals, and just generally worked and played to my own schedule rather than to anyone else’s.
The really telling detail about my vacation, I think, happened before I left for it rather than during it or afterwards. The number one question I was asked by coworkers was, “Vacation, huh? Where are you going?” And when I said I was just going home, wise nods ensued. “Oh, a staycation. Got it.” As if the only reason to spend vacation time at home is a lack of money to go to exotic places. Which, yes, I’m slightly broke at the moment, but even if I had lots of money available, I would have been taking this time to stay home! More than anything, I needed rest, and traveling is more exhausting to me even than work!
The modern world doesn’t understand people like me, and neither is it terribly kind to us. We’re not super-motivated, we don’t feel the need to constantly push, and we don’t have incredible sky-high ambitions and the drive to make them happen. Sure, I’ve got goals and dreams and hopes, but running myself into the ground to make them happen seems awfully counterproductive. How will I enjoy anything I achieve if I’m so exhausted by the time I achieve it that all I want to do is lie down and sleep for a year?
But that’s not a state of mind that modern society understands. Wanting to do things in a calm, quiet, laid-back way is so old-fashioned. Today’s world is all about multitasking, cramming more into every day, instant gratification of every wish and desire. Get it bigger, get it better, get it faster, get it NOW, because if you don’t, somebody else will! And it surely doesn’t help any that I’m a massive introvert and the nine hours of incessant contact with people which is my workday makes me want to hide under the desk.
Le sigh. The biggest problem is that what I like to do, people usually don’t want to pay for, and what people want to pay for, I’m not much good at. So I try my best to make my way in the world without causing actual harm, and do what good I can, where I can, and keep from falling apart while I do so.
More writing if and when I’m able. Thanks, as always, for reading, and I should be back on the Fiction Friday horse this week. Now if I could just feel a little more confident that more than twenty people in the world will ever see that story...