So here I am, back at work today, after taking yesterday off to go to the doctor. I have an official diagnosis of (get ready for a mouthful) sacroiliitis, which basically means my lower back and pelvis hate me. Doctor prescribed pain meds and physical therapy, which would be great if I weren't already overbooked and mostly broke...
Ah well. I'll figure it out somehow. Why don't we get to what you came here looking for, O readers, that is, this week's Why Do I Work Here Wednesday post! And yes, I do have a good one, even though I've been in and out of the office the last few weeks with my body's latest iteration of internalizing stress. It hurts, yes, but it's better than being brought up on assault charges.
Today's entry falls into the larger category known as "there is nothing common about common sense". It begins with a number of my coworkers coming to me, very distraught. The color copier, printer, fax machine, scanner (and for all I know, espresso maker -- they call 'em "multifunctional devices" for a reason) at one end of our floor isn't working! Red lights! Oh noes!
I ask, "Well, did anybody push the printer button? That brings up a screen that should tell you what's wrong with the machine." Blank looks. Wide eyes. "Huh? It does that?" Yes. It does. As seen below:
Not much to my surprise, the problem the machine is reporting (you may or may not be able to read the screen, I couldn't get a good angle to minimize the glare) is not exactly rocket science to fix. I turn to the people who have followed me down the hall to the printer, like ducklings behind their mama duck. "Did anybody open the paper tray and check on the paper?" Blank looks. Wide eyes. "Huh? Paper?" Yes. Paper. As seen below, or rather as NOT seen below:
This scene is repeated every time anything goes wrong with one of these machines. And I do mean anything. A paper jam, depleted toner, no more paper to load into the machine, fax line not working, no matter what it is, they want me to deal with it. Never mind that the machines have nice clear pictorial instructions on how to clear paper jams. Never mind that the toner is sitting out in plain view and the paper is in a labeled closet off the same room where one of these printers is sitting. Never mind that half the machines don't have fax lines, and this is clearly stated on the information sheets--
No, that's enough. Stop that. Bad author. (Grrrrrrrr!) Yes, I know, they're frustrating, but that doesn't mean you can transform into a black panther and go hunting in the cubicle farm. (Grrrrrr.) Yes, you can fantasize about it. You can even write about it. You just can't do it. (Grrrr. *sulk*)
One begins to understand why the first question tech support asks when one finally gets them on the phone is, "Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?"
Thanks as always for reading. My NaNo may or may not be salvageable, or only as scribblings for future world-building, but it is getting finished in the sense of 50,000 words in the month of November. After that... well, why don't we deal with after that, after that. Right now, I have to go replace some cyan toner. And then feed the panther.
See you next time, on Fiction Friday! Let me know what you'd like to read this week and I'll see if I can oblige!