Anne B. Walsh - Do you believe in magic?
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Anne's Randomness

Stuck in the middle

One moment while everyone gets done humming... there, that should do it. I hoped to have good news to share with you today, but sadly all I have is more of the same. Loads of story ideas, but nothing that wants to solidify into words. Everything feels either repetitive and unsatisfying, or too nebulous and high-concept to work.
 
Everybody goes through droughts, I know, but dang it, I was doing so well! And then... well, and then. And everything's felt dreary and/or confusing ever since. Which I'm sure is not the sort of thing that one ought to be saying on one's blog, but judging by the level of engagement and commenting, no one's reading it anyway.
 
Now really, Anne, that's unfair. People are still reading. But then why have there been no comments except spam for a week? Because people are afraid they don't have anything to say, or that their comments will look silly on the page. Does that mean I'm allowed to stop writing because I'm afraid of that happening to me? No. Darn it.
 
Yes, I did just have a conversation with myself on the blog. Welcome to the inside of my head, which is neither a pleasant nor a comfortable place to be most days. The italicized voice I have allowed to speak briefly is one of the nicer ones I host. The nastier ones I try to keep under stricter control, though occasionally they break out.
 
For anyone who's wondering, yes, I am being figurative here. I do not hear these voices in terms of believing them to be other entities. They are tools of my brain, used in working out problems by setting them up as though they were conversations, since words come naturally to me. I may be crazy, but I'm not crazy like that.
 
*sigh* Since I seem to be only digging myself in deeper, I think I had better stop. Thanks to everyone who has been involved in the marathon discussions on the DV Facebook group, as that has kept me in semi-decent spirits over the past few days. I make no promises about Saturday, but leave encouragement and I'll see what I can do.

7 Comments to Stuck in the middle:

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Karen on Thursday, March 20, 2014 5:53 PM
I hate the days when it feels like the words are never going to cooperate again. Sending lots of cheer your way.
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Alex Conall on Thursday, March 20, 2014 7:29 PM
This won't help, but you've got more readers than me.
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Geoffrey on Thursday, March 20, 2014 9:32 PM
Sorry I haven't been engaging with you on your blog. I don't have as much time as I once did, and I've been directing it, more or less, toward other (less important? more important? *shrug*) purposes. But still, I read everything you post here. How about writing a storylet for your blog about a girl who hears voices in her head that are not from her own mind, but she has convinced herself that they are? No more than a thousand words, unless something tickles your fancy.
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Carmen Mibelli on Friday, March 21, 2014 12:22 AM
I've never found writing as something that comes naturally to me. Because of that, I've always admired those for whom it does. And after reading accounts of those who do write, because they have the talent, the disposition and the willingness to do it, I've come to understand, that it is hard work. It's work that does not always come easily, and other times comes faster than you can write it down. So, I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't lose hope. You are not alone in thinking those things, and maybe not today or tomorrow, but the words will come. (You're too nice for them to stay away too long) As for the lack of comments, I understand your frustration, but consider that you interact with your readers on several platforms, so maybe, they don't comment here, but they do it on your FB page, twitter or the DV group. I think no one who has interacted with you and with your other readers can say that you are not cared for. As for myself, I don't know if I've said it outright but I admire you as a person, and as a writer. I don't think I would have come back to reading your stories five years later if I didn't.
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buffarama on Friday, March 21, 2014 2:53 AM
read, yes. commenting, trying. people have been eaten by spring, perhaps? *passes PAGE a PNOD to thwap brainweasels with*
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Mariam Nabi on Friday, March 21, 2014 10:14 AM
Yes, even I hear voices in my head when I write, or don't write, depending on the situation. Hope your ideas do come to fruition. Keep up the wonderful work you do.
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lilyginnyrose on Saturday, March 22, 2014 8:36 AM
hay, you're not the only one to hear voices you know, you're in good company. Think of a little green-eyed twelve-year-old boy for example. No but all madness on a stick.(it's a dutch saying, I don't think it translates well, but who cares). Everyone has this internal mono/dialogues. I do too. It helps me think about something from different sides and make important decisions. I just find I have to remember myself sometimes that my internal voices are to be treated exactly like external ones. Meaning: they're not always right, I should not always listen to them, and they're not always nice, and if they aren't I should ignore their unniceness and think about the sentiment they're expressing and why they're doing so. I hope this helps, and remember: people have been reading your stories for close to ten years now, (a little less, personally, (because I didn't have a laptop at seven) but for some people it's the truth) we're not about to stop doing so.
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