Or in other words, I've got good gnus and I've got bad gnus. (Pause for groans from readers.) The good gnus, or news, or however you want to spell it, should be obvious to anyone who follows my fan fiction. The muse has been generous lately; chapters have been plentiful and generally enjoyable to write, and, I hope, to read.
The bad gnus/news is... well, what the bad news always is. My original writing is sitting in a corner sulking and grumbling "NO" any time I even look its way. For which I can't blame it much. If there are two kids in a family, and one gets all the attention without even trying, while the other tries hard but is always overlooked...
I never intended to write popular fan fiction. Honestly, I never intended any of this. I wanted to get these ideas out of my head, not have them move in and take up permanent residence! My English grades in school were good, but not stellar, and writing for a living was not something we ever covered in my career sessions.
By now, if my life had gone as intended, I should have been a fourth grade teacher, settled down in a little suburb somewhere, possibly married and with a kid of my own. One out of four... is still pretty bad, actually. Though I don't suppose it counts as bad when it's just different. And teaching really didn't suit me like I thought it would.
I clicked a link from one of the various Twitter accounts I follow last night. (Bear with me. It's related, I promise.) It took me to a webpage that promised to teach me how to have an "author attitude!", how to cultivate my Willingness, Optimism, Objectivity, and Tenacity. Yes, it spells WOOT. There are worse mnemonics.
The trouble is, I score only slightly better on that scale than on that of "where I expected to be". If Tenacity can be interpreted as bone-headed stubbornness and refusal to quit even when that would seem to be the wisest course, then that I've got. And Willingness depends on what I'm supposed to be Willing to do, now doesn't it?
So that's one and a half. Objectivity is harder. These are my stories. My babies. I've had to cultivate a certain level of Objectivity just so I can make my writing better, so I can look at it with an outside eye, but criticism of my stories still feels like criticism of me, which to my mind means I fail quite miserably on the Objectivity point.
As for Optimism... I try. I do try. But when I offer fifty copies of a book for free, asking in return only for an honest review, and the response rate I get is a grand total of two -- meaning I literally can't even give this book away -- that's not calculated to increase Optimism in the heart of the average bear. Or panther. Or whatever.
I apologize for the somewhat emo post, and for not having any good news to report, but more of my wildebeests are evil this week than usual. Anybody got any lions or hyenas I could borrow to weed them out of the herd? Thanks for reading (assuming you made it this far) and we'll see what the weekend brings. TTFN, ta-ta for now...